Why I stay on my phone at 11pm when I want to sleep
It's 11:14pm. The lamp is off, the alarm is set for 6:30, and your thumb has already lit up the screen before you decided anything at all.
You're not looking for a video. The feed goes by, a story you already saw yesterday, a conversation you've read twice. You tell yourself five more minutes and then I'll stop. You stop, the room goes dark, and in under a minute your hand is back on the nightstand. The light is on the ceiling again. What gets me is that you're not even enjoying it much.
Your body is ready, the day isn't. Turning it off for good means agreeing the day is over, with what didn't get said, what didn't get done, and tomorrow starting again. That small slide of the thumb is the one stretch when nobody wants anything from you. And what it costs, you already know: an hour taken from tomorrow, every time.
Your body is ready to sleep, the day isn't.
I was wondering…
Which part of today are you still hoping to make right, before you let yourself call it a night?