Why I keep scrolling even though I'm exhausted

Syel · 14 September 2026

11:12 pm. Every light off except the screen. Your eyes sting and your thumb keeps moving. Five more minutes.

The yawn came around ten. The bed was made, the duvet turned back, and the phone stayed in your hand. Most of the time it isn't even interesting, and you know it while you're doing it. What holds you is that closing the screen means closing the day. And at that hour, that means being alone with whatever is left. I find something tender in it, wanting to keep the day open a little longer.

In the dark, with nothing to look at, there is room. A sentence someone said this morning. A thing you didn't do. A worry that had no time to exist because the day was full. The scrolling takes that room. It doesn't soothe, it just keeps something from starting. One image replaces another before the first one has said anything. And tomorrow pays for it.